Hello. If you are reading this journal and your not Leah, please set it down. Think about it, if you had a journal that had stuff that you didn’t want anybody to read you wouldn’t like it much if someone comes along and starts reading. Please, before you go any father, think about it. Is what your about to do right? Would God want you invading my stuff? I’m not sure that he would. So please set it down. And please don’t do it again.
Ah, the melodrama was alive and real with this one.
My journal was a fluffy blue notebook filled with almost unreadable neon gel pen scribbles. That’s when gel pens were just so cool. As you can see, this journal was more than just a regular diary, it was a secret diary, which made it way cooler and way more off limits. Let’s begin analyzing my findings.
1. The journal is filled with classroom seating charts. I’m not sure what I was trying to portray, but the little squares of desks with names of children I haven’t thought about in over ten years is not only cute, but a little bit weird.
2. I had horrible taste in movies.
January 1, 2005
“Happy New Year! I woke up at nine o’clock. Nothing happening. We might go see “Fat Albert” or “The Incredibles.” Two movies that look good.
What was I thinking? Fat Albert? Is this some cruel joke?
3. I…I don’t even know. Words cannot describe.
January 14, 2005
“At school today something odd happened. I know some of the Elvish language. Carissa and I thought it would be funny if we said something like “I love to see your eyes shine when you laugh” to Ben. I thought it up, and Carissa gave it to him. He fought for the paper with the translation on it, and got it. Luckily I have the other half. When he got it, he stuck it in his back pocket. Like I’m going to reach in there and get it. Carissa and I were depressed for the rest of the day.”
4. Boys were totally gross. Like, heaven forbid my parents see me sitting next to a boy at a school basketball game.
February 4, 2005
“At the basketball game, David came and sat by us, followed by Patrick. That was cool. We didn’t care. I sat by Shayna, turned around, and then looked back—there was David! They had switched seats! They did this a lot. Shayna got up to get a snack, and someone stole her seat. Patrick started pushing us all down, but I couldn’t move. Patrick pushed Jared, who pushed David, who bumped into me. David wasn’t going to push me though. Besides, I couldn’t move! Two people next to me are strangers. So I endured countless times of being smashed into David. Oh well, the bad part was when Dad came to visit me.
“Leah, hi Leah!” Dad says.
He’s always bothering me. When I turn around, Dad just smiles at me and points at the boys. I told him, “Shayna is getting snacks!” but right then Patrick gives a big push and David goes smashing into me. I later found out that Dad told Mom about me sitting with the boys. Shayna eventually returned, but I was totally bruised by then.
5. I signed out of my journal entries by writing, “My candle is about to fade,” as if I was a heroine in a “Dear America” book.
6. I firmly believed that if I buried my journals in my backyard that someday they would be dug up and put in a museum. Again, I read way too many “Dear America” books.
7. I eavesdropped and then recorded every word in my journal. Because who didn’t do that?
April 20, 2005
“Tonight while I was reading in my room, I heard dad saying to mom, ‘Well, we’ve given her some time to do it. Tomorrow you’ll just have to tell her she can’t go to anybody’s house or anything.’ Jumping to conclusions, I thought they were talking about me. The only thing dad has been telling me to do for a while now is to clean my room, so I immediately put my book down and started cleaning. It looks pretty spiffy now, and nobody has said anything to me yet. I wonder if they were actually talking about me.”
8. Anytime a boy even so much as looked at me, I wrote about it in my journal. Oh yeah, and I gave all the boys nicknames. Here’s an entry about “Snuffles” and “Edward.” Tell me I’m wrong, but the only way a girl could talk about a boy in late elementary school was to give him a nickname, amirite? Also, my fifth grade self could recognize that nice guys were better than cute guys, so I’m pretty proud.
May 3, 2005
“Yeah…you know…Snuffles doesn’t seem so great anymore…I mean, sure he’s cute…but Edward’s actually nice 2 me…I think I like Edward more than Snuffles! WHOA!! Snuffles will flirt and joke, and he talks 2 me a lot, just…Edward’s just a lot more nice.”
9. I wrote angsty quotes and credited myself because duh they were gonna be famous someday.
“Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like firing a pistol to the heart and living through the pain. -Leah, February 6, 2005”